Between Iraq and a Hard Place

Just in case you’re not familiar with the Iran Treaty, we now get details from Trever Nump, our acclaimed Washington correspondent. Come in, Trever…

Thank you Unk but, let me clarify. It was not a treaty. Congress did not approve it. The “Iran Deal” was a Presidential dictate. You see… international sanctions against Iran worked, so Iran didn’t have enough money to build nuclear weapons. So, the U.S. President gave Iran 150 billion dollars and Iran promised not to build nuclear weapons for ten years. Sort of like, “peace in our time”. So, that’s it. Back to you, Unk. Oh, and… almost forgot… the U.S. wasn’t allowed to check up on Iran to see if they kept their end of the bargain because the Mullahs said, “Trust me.”

Thank you for that report, Trever. Now, before we go to the next segment, let’s do a quick public opinion poll. As you know, at this very moment, in the ground, under their own country, Iran is sitting on a thousand-year supply of oil. So—show of hands—how many of you truly believe Iran needs to develop peaceful atomic energy to keep their lights on? Hands? Hands? Anybody? Nobody? Okay… survey shows: Atomic bombs!

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It saddens me to acknowledge that Neville Chamberlain, one of the most famous conservative British Prime Ministers of all time, was a dolt. Yes, even a conservative can be a dim bulb.

Chamberlain is the politician (a terrible thing to call someone) who appeased the Nazis and then proudly stated, “I believe it is peace for our time.”

Less than a year later, World War II began. Over sixty-five-million people were killed in World War II, more than three-percent of the world’s population. But Chamberlain did get peace for almost a year by giving the terrorist nation what they wanted.

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“Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.” — Edmund Burke

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 “When will they ever learn? When will they ever learn?” — Pete Seeger

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Some people still don’t believe that Iran would lie and cheat just to get what they want. But, consider this… perhaps Iran is merely practicing taqiyya (pious dishonesty). In their culture, lies and deception are a holy means to achieve a pious goal. Perhaps Iran simply considers being the world’s #1 supporter of terrorism to be a pious goal.

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A few months ago, a high school friend asked how I became so conservative, I didn’t really know the answer because I don’t think I’m conservative. I think I’m normal.

Well, I’ve been pondering, and I figured out how my “conservatism” thing started. I was in the second grade in a small Colorado town when my parents rented their first house. Before that we had always lived in tiny apartments. Painted white, the old wooden house had a fenced-in yard so, I got my first dog. Also, for the first time in my seven years on the planet, I no longer slept on a couch.

Alas, the house caught a bad case of termites. Exterminators covered it up for three days. That explains everything. It was my first unpleasant experience with a white house cover-up.

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Kevin Oxley, the lead character in Wild Blue: Saving the World with Duct Tape and WD-40 is so grateful for and excited about cancellation of the terrifying Iran deal, he shared his new bumper sticker with us:

Donald Trump is Ronald Reagan

on Steroids. And, maybe, caffeine.

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