Big Trouble

Kevin Oxley gave me permission to publish another of his homemade bumper stickers. My thanks to the ox man. Here ya go:

STANDARD PROCEDURE for DICTATORS:
1. Take over media. 2. Confiscate firearms.
3. Murder opponents. SOUND FAMILIAR?

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     Just to give you a heads up… I may be going to prison over a federal issue. I am sorry to admit to you that I’m in big trouble due to a felony investigation. I destroyed more than thirty-thousand pieces of evidence that were under subpoena in my case. Then my wife had a secret meeting with the Attorney General to influence my case. Then I paid my attorney to create a phony document. Then I hired a hitman to beat my computers and cellphones to death with a hammer. And then… oops, hold on. I’ve got to take this call from the FBI Director. I’ll get right back to you.

* * * * *

     Whew. Everything’s fine. The FBI Director just wanted to clarify something.

He asked, “Are you a Republican or a Democrat?”

“Democrat,” I lied. (Does that make me an oxy-moron?)

The FBI Director said, “Case solved. You’re innocent.”

Just wanting to be sure, I asked, “Can you put that in writing?”

“Oh, I already did that months ago,” he said. “Before I even asked you any questions.”

“Well, thank you. Hey, I’ll buy your book if you buy mine.”

“Done deal.”

* * * * *

                                                “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters” — Albert Einstein

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      I am pleased to announce that UERT has inked a deal with Mr. Trever Nump, a noted Washington D. C. journalist. Trever will be providing us with exclusive insider information. He already filed this first report:

Café talk currently being overhead around the U.S. Capitol is an insightful Q&A. The question is, how do you know if a politicized government employee is telling the truth? And the answer is… it’s a trick question. Politicized government employees don’t tell the truth.

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                                                                   “Hyper ideology destroys critical thinking.” — Dr. Francis Noah Weksler

* * * * *

     When I was a kid, my folks taught me about the FBI, that awesome Federal Bureau of Investigation. I was so impressed by and enamored with that elite force of non-political integrity, that I seriously considered trying to make the FBI my career. Now, it breaks my heart to learn that FBI actually stands for Fascist Bullying Institute.

  * * * * *

     In closing, allow me to leave you with an old quote that would make today’s radical liberals crazy. Oh, wait a minute… they already are.

                                        “Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer.” John F. Kennedy

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Finis

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