Equal Opportunity

I receive a lot of emails. Thank you. I try my best to read and respond to all. A man I’ll call George emailed this to me: “I found your last blog humorous but, I want you to know that I hate Hillary Rodham Clinton for stealing the election from Bernie. And I hate the mainstream media for covering up for Hillary. And I also hate that lying President Tramp.” (George’s spelling.)

Though I am ignorant of any Lying by President Trump, I fully support George’s right to equal opportunity disgust. My email response to George was, “Isn’t it great that we live in a country where we can openly express our opinions without fear of reprisal?”

Then I amused myself by thinking of how outrageous the 2020 political dogfight would be if President Trump thumbed his nose at the Republican establishment by choosing Hillary for his Vice-President. Someone would surely film a documentary and call it, Lady and the Trump.

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     An “anonymous source” (mainstream media jargon for “I made this up”) has informed me of Donald Trump’s future plans, should he be impeached. Mr. Trump will take over as co-host of the “Today” show, and change his name to Matt Liar.

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     I believe in equal opportunity but, not in guaranteed equal outcome. Guaranteed equal outcome is a thoroughly stupid concept.

A liberal colleague of mine hates the idea of keeping score in any competition. Not just for kids but, even for the Olympics and professional sports. In her world, every player should just do what they can and then hug their participation trophy. She applies that philosophy to all aspects of life.

Regardless of your personal opinion of “The Donald”, you can recognize that after only one year in his new job, the U.S. economy is booming, unemployment claims are at their lowest in four decades, and you and I are about to have more money because of the biggest tax cut in history. My liberal colleague refuses to acknowledge that “score”. Regardless of outcome, she just continues clinging to her ideology.

Meanwhile, most of us, who do keep score and believe in accountability, will continue clinging to our guns and bibles.

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     I am white, six-feet tall, and a decent basketball player. But if I tried out for the Cleveland Cavaliers, I wouldn’t have a snowball’s chance in Honolulu. If, during my try-out, I get beat out by a five-foot-six black man who hits a dozen three-pointers in a row, I guarantee you that my losing a spot on the team had nothing to do with racism, favoritism, or any other ism. I simply had an equal opportunity to compete and I didn’t make the cut. No guaranteed equal outcome allowed. Don’t cry over spilt sweat. Ya gotta have the skills if you wanna pay the bills.

Then again … the way the Lakers are playing, I might have a chance there. Naw. When it comes to athleticism, my friends refer to me as Bob Hope’s brother, No Hope.

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We’ll close with more baseball terminology for those who haven’t kept up with the great American pastime. SWITCH HITTER: A player who, according to California law, may use either public restroom.

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     This UERT is meant to entertain and/or inform. And, of course … to promote my novel—WILD BLUE: Saving the World with Duct Tape and WD-40—which will be published in 2018. I’d really appreciate it if you would kindly forward this UERT to everyone you know (forwarding link is below). Thank you.

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