Fixins

Our Thanksgiving this year will be a large gathering with family from all around the country. Ever since childhood, I’ve been shy and insecure, which made Thanksgiving my favorite holiday. It’s the one time of the year when I feel accepted by the family. Because I’m a turkey.

I remember Grandma Lela in Iowa saying, “We’re having turkey with all the fixins.” Which, of course, leads me to think of Republican turkeys and Democrat turkeys who are put in charge of things for which their pampered, self-important lifestyles render them clueless. Our country needs some fixins. A few of my suggestions are below.

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Freedom of Speech — Our truth in advertising laws make it illegal to lie in advertising. We need to expand this to include “truth in media”. Constitutionally, we can’t limit freedom of speech, and I absolutely agree with that. It’s one of those sacred rights which prevents America from becoming a mango republic.

But . . . I see no reason why we can’t require opinions and lies to be identified as such, instead of being presented as facts and truth. That would change our country for the better. For all time.

And it will be especially helpful to people in Blythe.

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Cigarettes — I do not and never have smoked. Smoking does not make one a bad person. But, exorbitantly high taxes on a legal product is an abuse of government power. Either make tobacco illegal or remove punitive taxes. An addictive, deadly product should not be an extra income source for our government.

Speaking of which … why does our country export more than a billion dollars of cigarettes (an addictive deadly product) around the world each year?

Here’s the answer: Follow the money.

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Prison — Going to prison is supposed to be punishment for seriously bad behavior, not just an inconvenient U-turn. Nationally, felony recidivism is 43%. In California, it’s much higher because Cali provides the Taj Mahal of prison life. More than 65% of released California felons return to prison within three years.

It costs California citizens $75,560 to keep one bad guy in prison for one year! For that amount of money, we could give each prisoner a free full-ride at an Ivy League University. But, all we’d get for our money is a bunch of poorly-educated liberal criminals. And there are no more jobs available in the California legislature.

            Proposed prison fixins…

  • No cigarettes.
  • No marijuana.
  • No exercise equipment.
  • No conjugal visits.
  • No television.
    • But, the prison library would have a lifetime supply of uplifting and edifying books.
    • Prisoners who can’t read would be taught to do so. In English.
    • If a liberal judge declares absence of TV to be cruel and unusual, we allow only these three cable networks: Home & Garden — Hallmark — Disney.
  • No elective medical treatment.
    • If a convict wants to change genders, (s)he will just have to get a job after serving time, save his or her money, and pay for it him/her-self. Just like non-criminals do.
  • Three to a cell with one bed.
    • They simply sleep in three eight-hour shifts. They’ll still be far more comfortable than our warriors in combat zones.
    • Judges and legislators must not be allowed to release prisoners simply because the poor things have to nap on the floor.

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Freedom of Speech Part 2 — Politicians who lie to us must be required to publicly identify their lies. Well… maybe that won’t work. Because we’d hear politicians announcing, “This is a lie,” about a thousand times a day.

Okay… maybe we give the Department of Justice responsibility for identifying and revealing politician lies. Oh… wait a minute… the DOJ lies too.

Howsabout a law imposing these consequences on politicians who lie…

  • First lie: 50% reduction in salary for six months.
  • Second lie: No salary for a year. (Hey, get a second job if you need the money.)
  • Third lie: You’re fired!
    • I’d rather spend money on a special election than continue being lied to.

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Politically-Neutral Education. Our local high school Social Studies teacher does everything possible to instill her students with a liberal/Democrat mindset. Such is also known as brain washing. It exists at all grade levels throughout our country.

We need this law: Schools receiving tax-supported funding must provide politically-neutral teaching. Any school receiving tax dollars (including government-backed student loans) may not promote its favorite idiotology. You do that, and you lose the money!

Please note: Politically-neutral is not secret code for “conservative/Republican”. Neutral means neutral. Enough with the brain washing already.

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California talk radio listeners fondly remember the late, iconic, George Putnam. George was a colleague and a friend, as is his long-time associate Chuck Wilder. Chuck has his own daily, entertaining, nationally-syndicated talk show: http://crntalk.com/talkback-with-chuck-wilder/

A few days ago, Chuck sent me a Los Angeles Times article about Blythe! Seriously. I read it with relish. And mustard and ketchup. (Eating a hotdog at the time.)

Anyway . . . the article gives details about our government dumping 2,600 illegal aliens in Blythe! This is a true thing. In Cali-speak they are “undocumented workers”. Which brings up an obvious question: if they don’t have jobs why does California call them workers?

Yep, all 2,600 dumpees have no jobs, no homes, and limited knowledge of English (if any). Our federal government had to put them somewhere and Blythe drew the short straw. 2,600 is more than 13% of the total Blythe population! Citizens in my hometown now have to figure out what to do with them.

Multiply this event by dozens and you get the number of towns chosen by our government to be illegal alien dumping zones.

Instead of fixin’ the problem, congress spends their time making up lies and ignoring laws.

I rest my case.

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            Thinking about Thanksgiving made me think of football. The NFL cleaned up the abominable national anthem protests, so… I am ready for some football!  Kevin Oxley, the star of Wild Blue, just emailed me his newest homemade bumper sticker:

If You’re Going To Take A Knee During A

National Anthem, Please Do It In Venezuela

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            Hey, I hope you and yours have a happy Fourth of July. Our daughter-in-law in Kansas found the all-time great July 4th shirt in St. Charles, Missouri. I love it. Emblazoned across the front is:

Party Like It’s 1776!

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Finis

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