Governor Gruesome

Did you know Mexico closed its border with the United States? This is a true thing, and I just found out. Mexico’s stated reason is to protect their citizens from catching COVID-19 infection from Americans. (Probably because there are so many millions of U.S. citizens trying to illegally sneak into Mexico, right?)

            The border closure will likely increase the cost of living in both Mexico and the U.S. because drug cartels now have to pay higher bribes to Mexican authorities.

            Then, again… perhaps California Governor Newsom will declare a drug dealer crossing the border to be “essential travel”.

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            I went to my local BigboxMart a few mornings ago to buy a different breakfast cereal. I’m at the age now where fiber is more important than the toy inside.

            To my surprise, a tent sat near the store entrance with this banner: “Recall Governor Newsom!” People were already in line waiting to sign up. I immediately got in line because I really don’t enjoy living under California’s incompetent socialist Leader. Oops. Sorry. “Incompetent socialist” is repetitive. Oh, and “socialist leader” is an oxymoron.

            Somebody shouted, “I wish I could sign up a dozen times!” People laughed. I thanked them. Because I’m the one who shouted it.

            After I signed the recall petition, the nice lady at the signature-gathering booth said, “Thank you and God bless.”

            I love our country.

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            Dallas Frazier is the songwriter who created both “Alley Oop” and “Elvira”. Lots of folks from all over the USA (and other countries) emailed that correct answer to me very quickly. But the first responder —and our winner of The Oak Ridge Boys book— is Bob Beasley, Chief Ministry Officer at Bible League Canada. Thanks, Bob. Enjoy!

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            Motorsports Coach Chuck emailed me his new team name suggestions for the Washington Redskins. Chuck wrote…

“…Here’s a few more for ya:

  • The Washington Children — (cuz that’s how they act these days)
  • The Washington Stealers — (yeah, I know… but isn’t that what they do to us?)
  • The Washington Whiners — (cuz again, well you get the idea…)
  • The Washington Wrongs — (cuz no matter what…  the other party says it’s wrong!)
  • The Washington Lobbyists — (cuz that’s who’s really running the place anyway, right?)
  • The Washington Misappropriators — (I especially like this one)
  • The Washington Skunks!  — (My own favorite… cuz they ALL STINK!)”

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            Wisconsin Joan wrote, “Regarding the Washington D.C. NFL franchise, ‘Turncoats’ sounds appropriate to me. The world has gone nuts and it’s time for the sane to take their country back. Otherwise we will be prisoners in a new world.”

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            Motorsports Coach Chuck also suggested: The Washington Taxers. Unk’s comment: Hey, y’all, that’s a fitting name, ’cause regardless of where we live, we are always deep in the heart of taxes.

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Dear Uncle Earl . . . I”m from your hometown of Blythe, so my vocabulary needs help. What’s a polygon?

Unk: A dead parrot.

Dear Uncle Earl . . . In Blythe, are there any blondes with brains?

UNK: Of course. They’re called golden retrievers.

Dear Uncle Earl . . . Why are Los Angeles liberal Mayor Eric Garcetti, and liberal City Council President Nury Martinez not embarrassed by publicly calling for defunding the police, while secretly having police officers assigned to them for personal protection?

Unk: Because they’re not merely radical liberal leftists. They are also radical liberal hypocrites.

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            In Los Angeles, you will be arrested and will pay a $500 fine if your dog poops on the street. But, if you (a human) poop on the street, or on school grounds, or in a park, or in someone’s yard, L.A. police officers are required by city ordinance to ignore you. This is a true thing.

            A stellar example of how the Los Angeles liberal left “solves” their city’s problems.

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            Speaking of cities with a problem… The last Republican Mayor of Portland left office in 1980. Portland has been exclusively under liberal rule for 40 years. Hey Portland . . . how’s that workin’ for ya?

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            Kevin Oxley, the star of my novel, WILD BLUE: Saving the World with Duct Tape and WD-40, likes to make homemade bumper stickers. He just sent me this revision of one of his “oldies”:

Antifa and BLM Believe in Freedom of Speech

Unless They Don’t Like What You Say

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“’If you can’t respect our national anthem, get the hell out of the country”

—Mike Ditka

First tight end inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

Winner of an NFL title as a player, an assistant coach, and a coach.

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Easy As ABC

            California Governor Newsom is releasing 8,000 convicts from prison by the end of August. He says he is doing this to keep convicts safe from COVID-19. Several hundred are being released into the town where we live with no input, discussion, feedback, or permission from us lowly legal non-criminal citizen residents.

            By the way, none of those convicts are being released anywhere near the mansions of California’s liberal rich. You know… Pelosi … Hanks … Streep … DiCaprio, etc.

            Across our nation, elected Democrats (Governors, Mayors, Congresspersons, etc.) are…

A. Attempting to defund and dismantle our police departments

B. Trying to change our law so convicted felons can vote

C. Releasing convicts from prison

            Well, howdy-doody, good gosh-a-rootie… what do you think their goal might be?

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