QUESTION: If tell you a COVID-19 joke, does it take two weeks for you to get it?

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“You are NOT allowed to leave your house unless you must leave the house … Stores are all closed except for the ones that are open …”

— Joe Bonsall

[[[ Joe’s self-description: Sanger, Author, Half Baked Banjo Player at Oak Ridge Boys ]]]

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            QUESTION: Why did Dr. Rachel Levine (Secretary of Health for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania) remove her 95-year-old mother from a senior care facility just before she (Dr. Levine) ordered long-term senior care facilities to accept COVID-19 patients?

            Hint: Almost half of all COVID-19-related deaths occur in senior care facilities.

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            QUESTION: Am I personally practicing social distancing? Absolutely. But, even so, my wife and I went dancing last night. She danced in the living room. I danced in my office.

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            QUESTION: How many government employees do you personally know who have been laid off from work because their jobs are not essential?

            Yes, I know, I know… this is a trick question. NO government employees have lost their income due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I can only assume this means all federal and state governments are so finely tuned and magnificently managed that staffing is always at the bare minimum in order to keep operational costs low and wisely spend our tax money. Don’t you agree?

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            Probably just like you, my wife and I have spent many hours sitting in online Zoom meetings with family and friends. Because my wife is a teacher, she has spent absolutely countless hours, days, nights, and weekends sitting in “distance learning” Zoom meetings as she continues to teach her students.

            QUESTION (for you, from my wife): “Do you know of an exercise for Zoom Butt?”

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        QUESTION: Why did Congress give $801 Million to 25 Colleges which have endowments totaling $350 BILLION?

            Hint: Liberal colleges?

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            QUESTION: Why — with more than 20 million American citizens out of work — did California Governor Newsom issue a $75 million handout to approximately 150,000 “undocumented workers” living illegally in California?

            “Undocumented worker”, by the way, is California liberal-speak for “illegal alien”. Mind you, there are about 3 million illegal immigrants actually living illegally in California. The 150,000 getting this particular California handout are just the ones who don’t qualify for unemployment benefits … presumably because they haven’t been employed. So Governor… how does one logically call an illegal alien who has not been working, an “undocumented worker”? And what did they do to deserve $75 million of California tax-payer money?

            Dictator Newsom, what you are doing is against the law and in direct violation of the California state constitution. But, I realize such minor inconveniences have never bothered you.

            Here’s an even better question, Governor:  You obviously know who these illegal, law-breaking people are, so why not just deport them (per the law) back to their home country and then—if you feel you must—give them their free, unearned, $500 as a lovely parting gift?            

            That $500 will go much further in their home country. And, as an added bonus, they will no longer be here in our country sucking up taxpayer money. And, in the future, they won’t be able to steal jobs from American citizens.

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“American lives are ruined for following the law.

Illegal aliens get paid for breaking the law.”

— Dr. Noah Francis Weksler

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“Alex, I’ll take broadcasting for $1,000.”

“All right. Here’s the answer:”

“I know this one, Alex! The question is… What is buffoon?”

“That is correct!”


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            Now that California Governor Nuisance has buckled to pressure, he is allowing churches, synagogues, and mosques to partially reopen, by following his mandated restrictions. Restrictions include mandatory temperature taking of everyone before they are allowed to enter their house of worship.

            QUESTION: Why are Home Depot, Lowe’s, Walmart, etc., not required to take temperatures?

            Another QUESTION: Why have those multi-zillion-dollar big box stores been allowed to stay open, but mom and pop hardware stores had to close? Personally, I think mom and pop stores are far more essential to America than the big boxes.

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            QUESTION: Why has it been essential for marijuana stores and liquor stores to remain open for business, but it became illegal for barber shops, beauty salons, and houses of worship to be open?

            I think I know the answer: states reap a fortune in taxes on booze and pot.

            And, here’s a supposition for you: perhaps socialist leaders like drugs and alcohol more than they like God.

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            QUESTION: Why did radical leftist leaders across our country release thousands of criminals from prison because those radical leftist leaders felt the COVID-19 virus made it too dangerous for prisoners to be confined with masks on . . . but law-abiding citizens were ordered to be confined with masks on?

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Dear Uncle Earl . . . This is Kona Jack, your ol’ buddy here in our “Active 55+” park. I just saw the strangest thing on our golf course: a line of old rabbits hopping backwards. What in the world is that?

UNK: A receding hare line.

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            QUESTION: Why do medical providers get paid an additional 30% (from government) for simply asking a few questions related to COVID-19?

            To clarify… asking a sequence of “official” questions such as — Have you had headaches recently?Have you recently had a fever? — allows the medical provider to check off those boxes on the official COVID-19 query panel. As a result, the hospital or clinic receives approximately 30% additional payment because the patient’s visit is now coded “COVID-19-related”.

            This greatly exaggerates COVID-19 statistics.

            And fake news gets to increase their fear-mongering.

            And the beat goes on.

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            QUESTION: Why is the fatality rate for COVID-19 only 00.26%? (Hardly a plague.) Our country’s usual annual fatality rate for influenza is slightly less at 00.13%. (Every year.)

            So… why have we had three months of rampant, nonstop, liberal media fear-mongering, which continues to this day? And why do liberal dictators want to keep the country shut-down?

            You know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking . . . naaaw . . . guess I’m just being silly. There couldn’t be any possible connection between wanting to keep the country shut down and the upcoming Presidential election.


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            QUESTION: But… but… but… how could this be? My leaders showed me results of the computer models that say we’re all gonna die!

            As I’ve mentioned before (in regards to “global warming”) a computer model merely spits out the results the computer programmer wants. In early digital days they called it G.I.G.O. (Garbage in. Garbage out.) Nowadays, it’s C.I.C.O. (Communist in. Communist out.) Not much difference between the two.

            In so many ways, it’s a scamdemic.

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When the people fear the government, there is tyranny.

When the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
—Thomas Jefferson

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            If our President gets his way, we will soon be released from solitary. My wife and I have followed all the rules, and we’ll be glad to escape. My wife, by the way, believes I’ve actually been washing my hands too much. She texted this picture of my hands to the doctor. He agreed with her.

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            In closing… please do buy my recently released novel, WILD BLUE. Some folks say this is the funniest book they’ve ever read. (Of course, those folks are my relatives.) Wild Blue is available at both Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Clicking the book cover art below will take you to the Amazon site.

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Or, should you prefer Barnes & Noble, you may click here:

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— finis —

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