The Last Straw

You don’t want to move to California. About five-thousand U.S. citizens permanently move out of California every week. That’s because the state is such a disaster, in so many ways. One way is homelessness.

San Francisco and Los Angeles both have huge homeless populations living on the streets. State “leadership” is unable (or unwilling) to come up with solutions that address the problem. Homelessness is not the problem. Homelessness is a symptom. The problems are things like… mental illness … drugs … criminal behavior, etc.  

Los Angeles decided to “fix” the problem by building free apartments. This, of course, only addresses the symptom, not the “disease”. Due to bureaucracy, graft, and ideology idiotology, the city’s cost to build shelter for a homeless person ranges from $300,000 to more than $500,000 per unit. (Paid for by tax-paying citizens.) It’s a great time to be a contractor in L.A.

Los Angeles recently opened a new shelter for forty-five people. The city’s cost for one year of L.A.P.D. security at the shelter is $1.3 Million. To keep 45 people safe. Do the math.

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I am delighted that my UERT blog has thousands of creative, intelligent readers. I’d love to hear any real solutions to homelessness you can think of. My email address is Uncle.Earl@earltrout.com. Maybe, with our collective wisdom, we can change lives for the better. Our politicians certainly can’t.

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California’s economy is hazardous because it keeps inching closer to the point where there will be more people living on some kind of aid than there are people working to pay for that aid. Unfortunately, the only cost-cutting I see from California government officials is occasional ride-sharing in a chauffeur-driven limousine.

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BREAKING NEWS, UNK! YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO HEAR THIS.

Well, alright, uh… let me introduce you. Ladies and gentlemen this is the UERT blogsite official roving political reporter… Mr. Trever Nump. What’s happening, Mr. Nump?

THIS IS A BLOCKBUSTER,UNK. WE HAVE JUST LEARNED THAT, IN ORDER TO SAVE MONEY, THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA IS OUT-SOURCING SERVICES, REPLACING U.S. CITIZEN JOBS WITH CHEAP OVERSEAS LABOR.

OMG, that is terrible news, Trever.

IT CERTAINLY IS. LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE: IF YOU CALL THE SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE, A COMPUTER IN IRAN ANSWERS AND TELLS YOU TO PRESS “ONE” FOR ENGLISH.

Oy Vey.

THEN, IF YOU TELL THE TEHRAN CALL CENTER OPERATOR THAT YOU ARE SUICIDAL, YOU ARE IMMEDIATELY CONNECTED TO THE GRAND POOBAH IRANIAN IN CHARGE. HE GETS ALL EXCITED AND ASKS IF YOU KNOW HOW TO DRIVE A TRUCK.

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About a year ago I was at a large family gathering for a high school graduation. As I’ve mentioned in the past, our family includes liberals, conservatives, different (or no) religions, ethnic minorities, foreign languages, straight, gay, and even a Hell’s Angel biker. Our mixed, loving, supportive clan gets along, and is able to discuss issues of the day without resorting to lying, twisting truth, and calling people names.

We all went out to dinner and when my drink arrived, it had a straw in the glass. I almost always drink with a straw, even at home. I expected my liberal female relative on the other side of the table to take umbrage at my straw. But, unless there is a compelling reason other than government guns and badges, I’m not going to give up drinking with a straw.

She said, “You’re using a straw?”

I replied, “Yes. I only recently gave up my baby bottle.”

 Do you know what damage straws do to the environment?”

I didn’t, so I truthfully answered, “Actually, no, I don’t. Please tell me.”

She explained that plastic straws are not biodegradable and can kill sea life by getting trapped in gills or mouths or noses. Or whatever things sea life have. (Being from Blythe—in the desert—I am ill-informed about sea life.)

“Well how do we fix this?” I asked. “I don’t want to hurt any innocent creatures, but I also don’t want to be forced to give up my straw.”

She said, “Why don’t we all just switch to biodegradable paper straws?”

I pondered that for almost three seconds. “Works for me,” I said. “I have no problem with that. It’s an elegant solution. Thank you.”

Move forward a year. The guns and badges of the great State of California have decided to make straws illegal. (Yes, that is a simplified version of the law, but essentially correct.) California issued this edict without opposition input, and did so while stating so-called “facts” that were merely ideological and proven not true. They can do that because the entire state is controlled—totally—by radical liberals who do not discuss issues with the rest of us who are not worthy.

Here’s a shout-out to my rad-lib California “leaders”. Hey! Look at me! I’m the little guy down here! Have you never heard of rice paper? It’s edible! In Japan they use it to make straws!

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Speaking of my family and Blythe. Yes, what you’ve heard is true. People from Blythe (like me) have a sometimes well-deserved reputation for being  unsmart. My Uncle Jethro, for example, is a hemophiliac. He tried to cure herself with acupuncture.

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About 40% of my UERT subscribers are liberal, and I’m glad to have them on board. Only a handful are of the radical-left, socialist-democrat, young communist persuasion. Some of those were greatly upset by my post titled Walls. (I can tell who they are by the ugly name-calling and foul language in my fan mail.) So, I shall try to make amends by printing one of the all-time most-admired quotes from a hero of the radical liberal left:

The most merciful thing that the large family does to one of its infant members is to kill it.”

— Margaret Sanger

Founder of Planned Parenthood

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If the above quote makes you angry… don’t get mad at me. I didn’t say it. I only truthfully reported it. If the above quote does not make you angry… you might want to consider therapy.

Or … maybe I just don’t understand why a human child isn’t as important as a mollusk with a straw up its nose.

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Finis

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