Thunder Lizards

Hope you and yours had a marvelous Thanksgiving holiday. We certainly did in Houston. Thirty-four family and friend folks frolicked frivolously for five fun, fellowshipping, foosball failing, and face feeding days. We also gave thanks.

Every bit of this entire post was written on my smart phone while in an airliner. (I needed something to do while ignoring the man next to me who actively shared his pneumonia.) It took my wife and I two days to fly home from Houston to Palm Springs because we went by way of a surprise, unscheduled, missing-airline-crew detour to Chicago. (This is all a true thing!)

Spending so much time in the huge Chicago airport, not knowing where our next flight might go, made me fear the saying: “O’Hare today, Guam tomorrow.”

Oh, and, by the way… I did catch the nasty man’s miserable cold. Or maybe it was the miserable man’s nasty cold. Whichever. Grumble, grumble.

When we finally arrived home, I was asked, “What did you do on your vacation, grandpa?”

“Well…” I said, “I got an entire two hours of sleep in a hotel our airline kindly provided at no charge. The hotel was only 35 miles away from the airport, and it had no shuttle service for our surprise, newly rescheduled, 4:24a.m. flight. I also got great exercise by scrambling through nine airport gate changes during the fourteen hours in which I sat in eleven different chairs, none of which were designed to fit the human body. Yep, it was fun!”

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Travel is such an adventure. While at O’Hare airport, I had my first experience with a surprise bidet, learning later that it was actually a misfiring toilet.

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O’Hare had unusual, but entertaining Thanksgiving week decorations. For example:

A life-size Apatosaurus skeleton wearing a Chicago Bears jersey. Alas, the cool name Brontosaurus (Greek for “thunder lizard”) is no longer correct and is now obsolete.

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Dear Uncle Earl . . . I are from Blythe. My boyfriend and I both love the Beatles and we both think Sgt. Pepper is the greatest rock album of all time. But he believes the Beatles are a British band and I think they’re Italian. Who’s right?

UNK: Your Blythe roots are showing. If the Beatles were an Italian band, the album would be called Sgt. Pepperoni.

Dear Uncle Earl . . . What nationality is Santa Claus?

UNK: North polish.

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You may recall my last post mentioned that if someone calls you a turkey on Thanksgiving, don’t be offended, because “you are what you eat”. An artist friend of mine (Long Beach Nancy) sent me an email saying, “I had ham for Thanksgiving because I’d rather be a ham than a turkey.”

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At the Lyndon B. Johnson Space Center in Houston, we watched NASA demonstrate a new robot that can pick its own nose. From a parts bin

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Much of my romantic comedy/techno-thriller novel, WILD BLUE: Saving the World with Duct Tape and WD-40, takes place at the Pasadena Institute of Technology, a small college with the best chess team in America. One of my extremely random airline prisoner thoughts was… what if the chess team, while on a world tour, gets captured by a cannibal tribe who has them over for dinner? And before dining, the entire tribe sings their traditional holiday song, “Chess nuts roasting on an open fire”.

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Every region of our great country has its own sayings and signs. We saw some fun ones in Texas . . .

Where Will You Go When You Die?

Trespass Here and Find Out.

<> 

WARNING: Driver Only

Carries $20 of Ammunition

<> 

I Found Your Nose.

It Was in My Business.

<> 

“You May All Go to Hell,

and I Will Go to Texas.”

— Davy Crockett

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“There must never be a narrowly voted impeachment or an impeachment substantially supported by one of our major political parties and largely opposed by the other… The effect of impeachment is to overturn the popular will of the voters… Such an impeachment would lack legitimacy.”

— Jerry Nadler

Democrat Congressman from New York.

(Perhaps a new Thunder Lizard?)

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“What worse charge can anyone bring against an orator than that his words and sentiments do not tally?”

— Demosthenes

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Mr. Nadler made the statement (above) regarding the impeachment of President Bill Clinton, who was acquitted by partisan vote. Mr. Clinton, however, did receive a five-year suspension of his license to practice law in Arkansas, and was suspended from the U.S. Supreme Court bar because he committed perjury. Mr. Clinton also agreed to an out-of-court settlement with his accuser by sending a check for $850,000. This happened despite Mrs. Clinton saying, it was all “a vast right-wing conspiracy.”

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            “Some of these people are not the brightest bulbs on the tree.”

— Uncle Earl

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“Trump Impeachment manufactured for Trump impairment has resulted in Trump empowerment.”

— Dr. Francis Noah Weksler

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Finis

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