WOO-HOO!

My blog has several thousand subscribers and, unless we know each other personally, I don’t know what you do for a living. However, if you’re a psychiatrist, I need some help, please. Because I am as nutty as parrot poop.

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My little desert hometown of Blythe, California, is believed by many to be the unsmart capital of the world. One morning, when I was a kid, my cousin Elmer walked into our house with a cucumber up his nose, a carrot wedged into his left ear, and a banana in his right ear. Shaking my head, I said, “Elmer you gotta go see the doctor right now.”

So cousin Elmer went to the Blythe clinic with that cucumber still stuck up his nose, that carrot in one ear, and a banana in the other, and he said to the doctor, “What’s the matter with me?”

The doctor said, “You’re not eating properly.

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Actually, I really do need some help, but from a different profession. I just finished the final tweaks on my Techno-Thriller/Romantic Comedy novel, WILD BLUE: Saving the World with Duct Tape and WD-40. Four talented beta readers suggested changes that have been incorporated and the completed manuscript is now a fun, fast 97,167 words. Woo-Hoo!

I need a new literary agent. My former agent (a very nice man) and I were not on the same page when it came to genre. He enjoys my blog postings and wanted me to write a non-fiction book with some humor and a Christian message. I may do that someday, but for right now, it is flank speed action with a lot of laughs. (And a subtle conservative/Christian message.)

If you happen to be a literary agent who is comfortable with techno-thrillers and romantic comedies (not  a romance novel) … or you know such an agent to whom you can provide an introduction, please follow-up via this email: Uncle.Earl@EarlTrout.com Thank you.

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Hey, if you actually are an agent, you will probably want to read this:

HOOK: The square cloud, the portable tornado, and the Pirate have all been captured by a bumbling religious cult on a mission to destroy Los Angeles. God help us. Warning: ​Wild Blue is for those who enjoy laughing in the face of danger.

TAGLINE: All hail breaks loose when a goof-off electronic genius accidentally creates a weather-controlling device and blundering fanatics steal it for their psychotic leader’s use as a WMD (Weather of Mass Destruction).

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I get email from everywhere. Cleveland Kurt sent me his interesting thought about the THE WALL. Kurt wrote, “I’d opt for toll booths. We have them all over this country just passing money back and forth internally. So why not bring some money in?”

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Well, yes, thanks for asking. As a matter of fact, I do have quite a few “pull quotes” from pre-publication reviews of my manuscript. I’ll put some below for you to read. (Did I mention I’m looking for an agent?)

“Refreshing slices of history, unsuspecting spontaneity, facts that surprise, and lip-biting action … Wild Blue wove itself into an immensely entertaining and satisfying tale. One wild ride!”

—Kevin McCullough, National Talk Radio Host; Fox News; Author

Wild Blue fascinates and tickles with a unique amalgam of romantic comedy and high-speed techno thrills. Every page delivers a laugh, frequently punctuated by tension-induced adrenaline … be prepared to be surprised.”

—Ken Levine, Writer/Producer, M.A.S.H., Cheers, Wings, Frasier

“I enjoyed the surprises, the tension, and the laughs. But, I wish Dr. Weksler wasn’t a Dodgers fan.”

—Dennis Kuhl, Chairman, Los Angeles Angels Baseball

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Hope you had a wonderful, long, holiday weekend. Personally, I found time to reminisce about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., one of my heroes. If you have never read any of Dr. King’s writings then, whether you are young or old, I strongly recommend you do. You will be indelibly touched by both joy and sadness.

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Kevin Oxley, the hero of Wild Blue emailed me his latest homemade bumper sticker:

Freedom of Speech Should

Not Include Freedom to Lie

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Well … Okay, okay … if you insist … just a couple more of those pull quotes…

Wild Blue takes you on a crazy, funny ride with characters you’ll love hanging out with. It’s fun and exciting to save the world with duct tape and WD-40!”

—Greg Knapp, Rush Limbaugh fill-in host; #1 Kansas City Talk Personality

“Try to guess what comes next in this novel and you will be wrong … bursting with twists, turns, and surprises in a fast and furious (and funny) story. Wild Blue is a ‘spiritual’ novel that non-Christians can love because they will be both entertained by the story, and intrigued by the revelations.”

—Dave Armstrong, Vice President (ret.) Salem Media Group

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Gary Theroux of “The History of Rock ‘n’ Roll,” Norwalk, CT, is one funny dude! He submitted some hilarious lines, and he won the autographed Dave Hull autobiography. Woo-Hoo! Thanks, Gary. The book is in the mail. (Yeah, sure it is.)

For those of you from Blythe… an autobiography is not a story about a car.

And… an autograph is not a chart showing car sales.

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In closing, I just want you to know that I am disgusted by President Trump canceling Nancy Pelosi’s flight. He really should have let her go. And then cancel her return flight.

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Finis

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